Healing Takes a Long Time

So we all pile into the truck today and drive up to see Dr. Parnell for a post-op visit. Nice lady, that Dr. Parnell. She checks out the surgical scars, tugs on a loose suture and tells us that a skin discoloration is the dye that was injected into Leslie's breast prior to the surgery and that it will eventually go away. For those of you that might have this done in the future, going away takes a very long time. The surgery was October 25th, today is November 27th and the dye is quite easily seen from across a large room. That's ok, there are two jagged surgical scars, three blobs of green dye and numerous bruises still prominently visible. The thing that is gone from the equation is CANCER! We were told today that the labs show no cancer in any of the surrounding tissue from the surgery and the lymph node, that was biopsied again, is negative for cancer as well.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dr. Parnell also told us of a possible chemotherapy option after the radiation. That would have us (as usual us = Leslie doing the hard part, fighting cancer, being brave, etc. while I sit in a corner and remain quiet so the grown ups can do their work) going through chemo for roughly 5 months then onto 7 weeks of radiation treatments and finally rounding out the cancer killing with another round of chemo that would last an entire year.

Leslie will be going to see Dr. Batezini (the oncologist) on Friday, the first appointment I'll have to miss through this ordeal. I have to work on Friday and don't have any spare time off available until somewhere around mid-January. I really hate being gone for this one but since it "SHOULD" be just a preliminary meeting to discuss the chemotherapy I figure I can be gone for that one. I've been making sure to save a little time off for the first day after the first round of chemo. We don't know what to expect there and I know that even if Leslie does well physically that I can be there to help be supportive on the emotional level. That's probably the one thing that people don't often talk about when it comes to cancer. It is absolutely exhausting to think about all of the what if's and possibilities. It seems that the night before a Dr.'s appointment no one sleeps because all you can do is toss and turn all night long. It really does wear you down to deal with this disease on a psychological and emotional level.

I mentioned the psychological stress that is brought about by cancer. I'll give you a good example. Leslie has had long hair for all of her adult life. She had long hair in High School. She had long hair in Junior High. She's had long hair for a long time. She went out last Tuesday to get a hair cut as a pre-emptive strike against the effects of chemotherapy. For anyone not aware of this, one of the major side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss. The drugs are designed to kill fast growing cells like cancer. Unfortunately this also includes things like hair and finger nails. That's why your hair falls out during chemo. It's dead. Like the cancer (Die Bob). Dead. The psychological part of this little ordeal is that women aren't supposed to be bald. I'm not totally convinced that guys are supposed to be bald either, and considering my hairline, I'm a supporter of hair growth for all. It is rough for men to lose some of their hair, rougher still for a woman to lose some of it. When chemo starts to do what it's supposed to do your hair falls out in clumps. Big clumps of hair that were alive and on your head yesterday are dead and on your pillow today. With that joyful tidbit in her future Leslie decided to get a short hair cut so that when the hair falls out it isn't quite so traumatic. I hope it helps. She looks great with the new hairstyle but it is not her first choice. She would have liked to let it grow even longer. Cancer sucks. Our little boy, Jared, didn't quite know what to make of his Mommy when she came home from the shearer either. He was a little apprehensive about this woman that sounded like Mommy and kind of looked like Mommy but definitely did not have the same hair as Mommy. It took him 3 or 4 days to get used to things. That's just another of the subtle ways that cancer takes a toll. It can make your 3 year old look at you funny. Just wait until Mommy starts chemo and the little guy is trying to figure out who that lady is. That's gonna be some fun to explain. Any suggestions?

Well I guess that's about all I've got to pass along for now. I need to get some photos emailed off to family in Oregon that would like to see Leslie with hair above her ears. They haven't seen that since she was 3. Ironic, isn't it?