So we all pile into the truck today and drive up to see Dr. Parnell for a post-op visit. Nice lady, that Dr. Parnell. She checks out the surgical scars, tugs on a loose suture and tells us that a skin discoloration is the dye that was injected into Leslie's breast prior to the surgery and that it will eventually go away. For those of you that might have this done in the future, going away takes a very long time. The surgery was October 25th, today is November 27th and the dye is quite easily seen from across a large room. That's ok, there are two jagged surgical scars, three blobs of green dye and numerous bruises still prominently visible. The thing that is gone from the equation is CANCER! We were told today that the labs show no cancer in any of the surrounding tissue from the surgery and the lymph node, that was biopsied again, is negative for cancer as well.
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dr. Parnell also told us of a possible chemotherapy option after the radiation. That would have us (as usual us = Leslie doing the hard part, fighting cancer, being brave, etc. while I sit in a corner and remain quiet so the grown ups can do their work) going through chemo for roughly 5 months then onto 7 weeks of radiation treatments and finally rounding out the cancer killing with another round of chemo that would last an entire year.
Leslie will be going to see Dr. Batezini (the oncologist) on Friday, the first appointment I'll have to miss through this ordeal. I have to work on Friday and don't have any spare time off available until somewhere around mid-January. I really hate being gone for this one but since it "SHOULD" be just a preliminary meeting to discuss the chemotherapy I figure I can be gone for that one. I've been making sure to save a little time off for the first day after the first round of chemo. We don't know what to expect there and I know that even if Leslie does well physically that I can be there to help be supportive on the emotional level. That's probably the one thing that people don't often talk about when it comes to cancer. It is absolutely exhausting to think about all of the what if's and possibilities. It seems that the night before a Dr.'s appointment no one sleeps because all you can do is toss and turn all night long. It really does wear you down to deal with this disease on a psychological and emotional level.
I mentioned the psychological stress that is brought about by cancer. I'll give you a good example. Leslie has had long hair for all of her adult life. She had long hair in High School. She had long hair in Junior High. She's had long hair for a long time. She went out last Tuesday to get a hair cut as a pre-emptive strike against the effects of chemotherapy. For anyone not aware of this, one of the major side effects of chemotherapy is hair loss. The drugs are designed to kill fast growing cells like cancer. Unfortunately this also includes things like hair and finger nails. That's why your hair falls out during chemo. It's dead. Like the cancer (Die Bob). Dead. The psychological part of this little ordeal is that women aren't supposed to be bald. I'm not totally convinced that guys are supposed to be bald either, and considering my hairline, I'm a supporter of hair growth for all. It is rough for men to lose some of their hair, rougher still for a woman to lose some of it. When chemo starts to do what it's supposed to do your hair falls out in clumps. Big clumps of hair that were alive and on your head yesterday are dead and on your pillow today. With that joyful tidbit in her future Leslie decided to get a short hair cut so that when the hair falls out it isn't quite so traumatic. I hope it helps. She looks great with the new hairstyle but it is not her first choice. She would have liked to let it grow even longer. Cancer sucks. Our little boy, Jared, didn't quite know what to make of his Mommy when she came home from the shearer either. He was a little apprehensive about this woman that sounded like Mommy and kind of looked like Mommy but definitely did not have the same hair as Mommy. It took him 3 or 4 days to get used to things. That's just another of the subtle ways that cancer takes a toll. It can make your 3 year old look at you funny. Just wait until Mommy starts chemo and the little guy is trying to figure out who that lady is. That's gonna be some fun to explain. Any suggestions?
Well I guess that's about all I've got to pass along for now. I need to get some photos emailed off to family in Oregon that would like to see Leslie with hair above her ears. They haven't seen that since she was 3. Ironic, isn't it?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Breathe In, Breathe Out....repeat (a lot).
Today is a good day.
Finally a chance to catch up on what's been happening in the wonderful world of breast cancer. First and foremost, today is a day that finds us enjoying the simple things in life.
Like breathing.
Yep, good ol' fashioned ventilating.
Breathing in, breathing out and not having to fight to get some air in the lungs. It's amazing how compressed you feel when you're waiting for the Doctors to tell you that the operation is over, that the cancer has been removed and that your loved one is recovering. It is difficult to describe how much pressure you feel while you're waiting for a glimmer of hope that this can be beaten. I spent 40 years waiting to find the right person to be in my life and I was completely overwhelmed with the thought of losing her barely 4 years into our relationship. I have no concept of how people feel that have been together for 45 years when cancer decides to interrupt the plan. I was lost, alone and absolutely terrified. I had friends and family supporting from all sides and I felt so incredibly alone that I can't describe the feeling. Thank you, one and all, for all your emails, phone calls and support.
So here's the catch up in a nutshell. (Ketchup in a nutshell, let it go....). November 12th, 2007 was the second operation by Dr. Parnell. This one removed excess tissue in Leslie's left breast that indicated positive for cancer. The operation is called a lumpectomy and is done to make sure that there is no cancer remaining in the breast surrounding the original tissue removal. (You remember, the one that started this whole ordeal back on October 25th.) The amount of tissue removed was roughly the volume of 2 golf balls. The original lump was the rough size of a golf ball. Simple math lets us calculate that there are now 3 golf balls worth of tissue gone from Leslie's left breast.
Let that sink in.
For anyone looking at your fingers and counting I will write very slowly for the remainder of this entry. Three golf balls worth of my wife are not where they belong and this is just the beginning.
The new tissue was sampled for cancer by the pathologist and was found to be negative. For those of you that have been through this and heard that word, you know that it is the absolute greatest word in the English language.
During the operation they also inserted the medi-port for the chemotherapy that will begin in roughly 4 weeks. So far that has been the source of the greatest discomfort from the operation. The medi-port is attached to a vein in Leslie's neck and is inserted under the skin in the neck and chest. Very clever but, at this point, annoying and painful in its' own right.
The final segment of the surgery was the lymph node removal and biopsy. As I mentioned, it was found negative for cancer. That is very exciting news since it means that the cancer didn't make it's way into the lymph system. Since it was contained in the breast then the chemo and radiation can be focused at the source. Bob will die! The incision made by Dr. Parnell to obtain the sentinel node is right in Leslie's arm pit. Very painful place to have a cut and it sure limits the amount of movement that she has right now.
Leslie went to work today and made it till around 11am. She got very flushed and tired and came home early. I don't think anyone is begrudging her leaving. The people she works with have been very supportive and understanding and that makes a tremendous difference in the recovery process.
Ok, that's enough for one day. I'll fill in some details over the next couple days. Thanks for reading.
Bye bob!
Finally a chance to catch up on what's been happening in the wonderful world of breast cancer. First and foremost, today is a day that finds us enjoying the simple things in life.
Like breathing.
Yep, good ol' fashioned ventilating.
Breathing in, breathing out and not having to fight to get some air in the lungs. It's amazing how compressed you feel when you're waiting for the Doctors to tell you that the operation is over, that the cancer has been removed and that your loved one is recovering. It is difficult to describe how much pressure you feel while you're waiting for a glimmer of hope that this can be beaten. I spent 40 years waiting to find the right person to be in my life and I was completely overwhelmed with the thought of losing her barely 4 years into our relationship. I have no concept of how people feel that have been together for 45 years when cancer decides to interrupt the plan. I was lost, alone and absolutely terrified. I had friends and family supporting from all sides and I felt so incredibly alone that I can't describe the feeling. Thank you, one and all, for all your emails, phone calls and support.
So here's the catch up in a nutshell. (Ketchup in a nutshell, let it go....). November 12th, 2007 was the second operation by Dr. Parnell. This one removed excess tissue in Leslie's left breast that indicated positive for cancer. The operation is called a lumpectomy and is done to make sure that there is no cancer remaining in the breast surrounding the original tissue removal. (You remember, the one that started this whole ordeal back on October 25th.) The amount of tissue removed was roughly the volume of 2 golf balls. The original lump was the rough size of a golf ball. Simple math lets us calculate that there are now 3 golf balls worth of tissue gone from Leslie's left breast.
Let that sink in.
For anyone looking at your fingers and counting I will write very slowly for the remainder of this entry. Three golf balls worth of my wife are not where they belong and this is just the beginning.
The new tissue was sampled for cancer by the pathologist and was found to be negative. For those of you that have been through this and heard that word, you know that it is the absolute greatest word in the English language.
During the operation they also inserted the medi-port for the chemotherapy that will begin in roughly 4 weeks. So far that has been the source of the greatest discomfort from the operation. The medi-port is attached to a vein in Leslie's neck and is inserted under the skin in the neck and chest. Very clever but, at this point, annoying and painful in its' own right.
The final segment of the surgery was the lymph node removal and biopsy. As I mentioned, it was found negative for cancer. That is very exciting news since it means that the cancer didn't make it's way into the lymph system. Since it was contained in the breast then the chemo and radiation can be focused at the source. Bob will die! The incision made by Dr. Parnell to obtain the sentinel node is right in Leslie's arm pit. Very painful place to have a cut and it sure limits the amount of movement that she has right now.
Leslie went to work today and made it till around 11am. She got very flushed and tired and came home early. I don't think anyone is begrudging her leaving. The people she works with have been very supportive and understanding and that makes a tremendous difference in the recovery process.
Ok, that's enough for one day. I'll fill in some details over the next couple days. Thanks for reading.
Bye bob!
Monday, November 12, 2007
YEAAAAAH
Just a quick note today. Leslie is home after surgery and the word is good. The sentinel node was cancer-free so the cancer has not spread. Healing is in progress. More to come later.
Thanks to ALL of you for the warm wishes and prayers!
Thanks to ALL of you for the warm wishes and prayers!
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Introducing "Bob"
Well yesterday was another fun filled day in the wonderful world of cancer. Leslie and I went to Dr. Parnell (the surgeon) for a follow up to her lumpectomy. The newest kink in the plan is that on top of having another surgery on Monday to remove more tissue, remove the sentinel node and insert the medi-port for chemo that we (and of course that still means Leslie, with me standing helplessly in a corner) get to go through radiation treatments after the chemo. I tell ya, if it isn't one thing it's another. The radiation treatments are to kill any possible remaining cancer cells in the breast. It's got some nifty side effects like making the affected area darker, think selective sun-tanning. Pretty cool. In a nutshell, she gets to be carved on like a Thanksgiving turkey (twice so far..), injected with chemicals that kill fast growing cells (like hair, finger nails and..oh yea...cancer) and then to make it wrap up neatly she gets to have radiation injected into her. Yea cancer! I'm betting you can see why the support of friends, family and others is so incredibly needed during cancer treatments. This stuff sucks.
Ok, you're wondering about the sentinel node. Good, so were we. The sentinel node is a lymph node located under the armpit. There are roughly 25 of these under each arm on the average person. When the surgeon goes in to do the surgery on Monday she will take the "sentinel node" which is the first lymph node in the string of them. Removing the first, or sentinel, node will allow it to be biopsied and tell us if cancer has spread to the lymphatic system. While the lymph node is being tested, Dr. Parnell will remove the extra tissue that tested positive for cancer that remains in Leslie's left breast. By that time we should have an answer to whether the sentinel node is positive for cancer or not. The good answer will be that it is not positive and then all that will remain is to insert the medi-port for the chemo and close up the incision. Let's hope and pray for the good answer. If the sentinel node tests positive for cancer then the next node in the string is removed for biopsy. The goal here is to find out exactly how far the cancer has spread into her lymphatic system. Dr. Parnell says that the most she has ever had to remove for biopsy is 15. We do NOT want to be part of a new record for her so we're hoping that the sentinel node is negative and we're done.
Alright, I titled this little ditty "Introducing 'Bob'" so I guess I should explain that one. While visiting Dr. Parnell's office yesterday we were sitting down with her right hand gal, Sue, to get the surgery scheduled and some paperwork completed. (With all the paperwork involved I'm becoming convinced that the Federal Government is actually behind breast cancer.) While we're sitting there, Leslie asked Sue if her type of cancer has a name, aside from the generic term of breast cancer. Sue proceeded to name off the 10 minutes of technical name as Leslie and I glanced at each other and grinned. No, you won't be reading the full technical name of this cancer in here. At least not for now. I looked at Leslie, looked at Sue, and looked back at Leslie. I said "So, we'll call it Bob". Ta Da...There you have it, the cancer has a name. Bob must die.
Along that train of thought...... My buddy Eric and I have decided to have some pink T-shirts made up that say "To heck with the whales, Save the Boobies!" Just smile and ignore us if you happen to see us wearing them. It's a little chance at saving sanity among the stress of this thing.
That's where we stand so far. Leslie is holding up incredibly well and is absolutely cherishing each card, letter and email she has received. Thank you ALL for your support, it truly does make the unbearable seem bearable.
Ok, you're wondering about the sentinel node. Good, so were we. The sentinel node is a lymph node located under the armpit. There are roughly 25 of these under each arm on the average person. When the surgeon goes in to do the surgery on Monday she will take the "sentinel node" which is the first lymph node in the string of them. Removing the first, or sentinel, node will allow it to be biopsied and tell us if cancer has spread to the lymphatic system. While the lymph node is being tested, Dr. Parnell will remove the extra tissue that tested positive for cancer that remains in Leslie's left breast. By that time we should have an answer to whether the sentinel node is positive for cancer or not. The good answer will be that it is not positive and then all that will remain is to insert the medi-port for the chemo and close up the incision. Let's hope and pray for the good answer. If the sentinel node tests positive for cancer then the next node in the string is removed for biopsy. The goal here is to find out exactly how far the cancer has spread into her lymphatic system. Dr. Parnell says that the most she has ever had to remove for biopsy is 15. We do NOT want to be part of a new record for her so we're hoping that the sentinel node is negative and we're done.
Alright, I titled this little ditty "Introducing 'Bob'" so I guess I should explain that one. While visiting Dr. Parnell's office yesterday we were sitting down with her right hand gal, Sue, to get the surgery scheduled and some paperwork completed. (With all the paperwork involved I'm becoming convinced that the Federal Government is actually behind breast cancer.) While we're sitting there, Leslie asked Sue if her type of cancer has a name, aside from the generic term of breast cancer. Sue proceeded to name off the 10 minutes of technical name as Leslie and I glanced at each other and grinned. No, you won't be reading the full technical name of this cancer in here. At least not for now. I looked at Leslie, looked at Sue, and looked back at Leslie. I said "So, we'll call it Bob". Ta Da...There you have it, the cancer has a name. Bob must die.
Along that train of thought...... My buddy Eric and I have decided to have some pink T-shirts made up that say "To heck with the whales, Save the Boobies!" Just smile and ignore us if you happen to see us wearing them. It's a little chance at saving sanity among the stress of this thing.
That's where we stand so far. Leslie is holding up incredibly well and is absolutely cherishing each card, letter and email she has received. Thank you ALL for your support, it truly does make the unbearable seem bearable.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Eric
My buddy Eric called last night. Sure made me feel a lot better to be able to talk about this cancer thing with someone besides my wife. It's funny, I try so hard to be supportive with Leslie and reassure her that everything will be fine and yet I feel incredible stress when we're not talking about it. Talking with Eric (Thanks Bubba!) let me escape that pressure for a while and laugh about it. He offered to drive up with a hundred friends and said that everyone would shave their heads as a show of support for Leslie. That was awesome! It's incredibly comforting to know that people care and can show support like that.
Leslie has spent much of the morning reading the stacks of literature we received at the Oncologists office yesterday. We're trying to wrap our collective brains around all of this and get a full grasp. We go back to visit the Doctor that did the surgery on Tuesday to set up another surgery, remove a lymph node under her left arm to check for cancer there and insert the tube for the chemotherapy. Joy, joy! The Oncologist told us yesterday that she has a T-2 cancer at this point. The second surgery and lymph node biopsy will determine if it is a T-3 cancer. We're still getting used to the terminology involved and trying to pay attention to the Doctors when they tell us things.
The fact that two people that went to college can become so incredibly dense when talking to a Doctor is staggering. I guess this shows how powerful this disease is. Once you hear the word cancer your brain just shuts down and your head bobs up and down in an affirmative motion. It makes people think you're listening when all you're really doing inside your head is..."CANCER?????????????.............CANCER??????????????....... What do you mean CANCER????????. I'm healthy, I'm not sick , I feel fine, I can't have Cancer!"
Here's what we know so far. We need to have the surgery to determine how advanced the cancer is. We (and by We, I mean...Leslie, with me standing in a corner somewhere..) need to have the chemo port inserted and get ready for the joys of chemotherapy. We have also found that when one Doctor says that "This type of cancer is exactly what people have when you talk about breast cancer. It's not aggressive and you're not going to die from this. You might die when you're 90 but you won't die from this" that what they can really mean is "This cancer is aggressive, you need surgery, chemo and some luck." No wonder it's so hard to listen to the Docs, even they don't know what they're saying.
We're keeping our heads up and searching for positives. More to come......
Leslie has spent much of the morning reading the stacks of literature we received at the Oncologists office yesterday. We're trying to wrap our collective brains around all of this and get a full grasp. We go back to visit the Doctor that did the surgery on Tuesday to set up another surgery, remove a lymph node under her left arm to check for cancer there and insert the tube for the chemotherapy. Joy, joy! The Oncologist told us yesterday that she has a T-2 cancer at this point. The second surgery and lymph node biopsy will determine if it is a T-3 cancer. We're still getting used to the terminology involved and trying to pay attention to the Doctors when they tell us things.
The fact that two people that went to college can become so incredibly dense when talking to a Doctor is staggering. I guess this shows how powerful this disease is. Once you hear the word cancer your brain just shuts down and your head bobs up and down in an affirmative motion. It makes people think you're listening when all you're really doing inside your head is..."CANCER?????????????.............CANCER??????????????....... What do you mean CANCER????????. I'm healthy, I'm not sick , I feel fine, I can't have Cancer!"
Here's what we know so far. We need to have the surgery to determine how advanced the cancer is. We (and by We, I mean...Leslie, with me standing in a corner somewhere..) need to have the chemo port inserted and get ready for the joys of chemotherapy. We have also found that when one Doctor says that "This type of cancer is exactly what people have when you talk about breast cancer. It's not aggressive and you're not going to die from this. You might die when you're 90 but you won't die from this" that what they can really mean is "This cancer is aggressive, you need surgery, chemo and some luck." No wonder it's so hard to listen to the Docs, even they don't know what they're saying.
We're keeping our heads up and searching for positives. More to come......
Friday, November 2, 2007
In the beginning
I am a rodeo announcer living in Wyoming. I spent last summer driving to rodeos in Colorado to pursue the dream of announcing professionally and being able to make a living at it. I would leave on Wednesday mornings after my wife went to work and my son was at daycare. I spent Wednesday morning on the road and announced in Snowmass Village,CO that night. I was fortunate enough to have another rodeo on Thursday night just 30 miles away in Carbondale, CO. I spent the night in Snowmass and headed down the road to Carbondale on Thursday morning.
The good folks (and they really are fantastic people!) at the Carbondale Wild West Rodeo Series chose to have a Tough Enough To Wear Pink event to produce funds and awareness for Breast Cancer and Susan G. Komen For The Cure in Aspen, CO. I was immediately drawn to this event and worked very hard for months researching info to make the night a great success. I really busted my butt for this and the rodeo was great. Unfortunately...it rained that night .....and rained and rained and rained. Noah drove by during the barrel racing....it Rained! We did the best we could, raised cash AND awareness and made some new friends in the process.
After the time and energy I put into the Tough Enough To Wear Pink night I figured that I had probably earned some "Karma Kredits".
I was wrong.
On Thursday October 25, 2007 my wife, Leslie, had a lump removed from her left breast. The following day we heard the word that no one wants to hear...cancer. We are in the early stages of this battle and aren't quite sure what to expect but I will update as we know more.For those of you that pray, please do. For those of you that don't, we will pray for you.
We are ready to win this fight.
The good folks (and they really are fantastic people!) at the Carbondale Wild West Rodeo Series chose to have a Tough Enough To Wear Pink event to produce funds and awareness for Breast Cancer and Susan G. Komen For The Cure in Aspen, CO. I was immediately drawn to this event and worked very hard for months researching info to make the night a great success. I really busted my butt for this and the rodeo was great. Unfortunately...it rained that night .....and rained and rained and rained. Noah drove by during the barrel racing....it Rained! We did the best we could, raised cash AND awareness and made some new friends in the process.
After the time and energy I put into the Tough Enough To Wear Pink night I figured that I had probably earned some "Karma Kredits".
I was wrong.
On Thursday October 25, 2007 my wife, Leslie, had a lump removed from her left breast. The following day we heard the word that no one wants to hear...cancer. We are in the early stages of this battle and aren't quite sure what to expect but I will update as we know more.For those of you that pray, please do. For those of you that don't, we will pray for you.
We are ready to win this fight.
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