Poison is good!

Yeps, good ol' poison. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, death in a bottle. Yummy. Oh, wait, the Dr. types call this stuff medicine. If you're a cancer cell, it doesn't matter what you call it because the stuff does what it is supposed to do....kill fast growing cells like cancer, finger nails, hair, taste buds, all the stuff that makes your mouth feel like a good place, etc. It works really well!

Bob must die! Bob must die! Bob must die! (Insert evil villain laugh here....)

Bob must die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, got it, cancer bad and dying. Dead. Done. We're now killing Bob's potential offspring and any other cells that thought about going to the dark side and becoming cancerous.

For anyone wondering what it feels like to have chemotherapy, today must be your lucky day, I' m gonna tell you. You've already read about the 3 inch long needle inserted into the medi-port in your chest and the 18 inches of tubing that are attached to it. Not particularly bad there but when they start attaching that tube to the medicine your life changes forever. This is a good thing in the long run since this is how cancer is killed and prevented for the future. The only downside of this is that the chemicals that are injected into your body are NASTY!

They start with a little saline solution to get the tubes working and get you comfortable. Once the saline is moving they bring in the anti-nausea medicine. Chemotherapy is poisoning your body and it makes you very queasy to put it mildly. You are told that the anti-nausea meds will last for about 6 hours and that if you start to feel sick after those meds wear off that you should take a little pill version of the anti-nausea meds. They are very adamant that you take this pill at the first sign of nausea because once you throw up the first time you won't be able to stop. The only chance you would have is in the form of that little pill and if you take it once you've started vomiting you would simply toss it back up before it could work. Pay attention, there is a test! Vomit once, you'll continue for hours. Feel sick, take your pill. End of test.

We get through the saline and the anti-nausea medicine just fine. Once they start with bag # 3 in the cocktail is when the real killing begins.

Bye Bob's grandchildren!!

We're finally getting some medicine that will kick some cancer butt. It is an incredible relief to see that bag get attached to the tube and see the meds start flowing. It feels like we are finally able to do SOMETHING about cancer. We've had it carved out and let the scars heal but now it is really a chance to be aggressive, pro-active, on the offensive. We're taking the fight to the disease instead of the other way around. It feels GOOD! (Probably better to me since I'm just sitting in a chair next to the lava lamp reading a book and glancing over to watch the nurses, Pat and Amberlee take care of the cancer fight champ of 2007/2008, Leslie.)

Once that bag has dripped through, about 15 minutes, it's time to introduce bag #4 which is chemo drug #2. This is the stuff that looks like Kool-Aid gone terribly wrong. Very bright red and, I swear, it has an ominous presence. That might be aided by the fact that when Pat comes in to attach this bag she is wearing a chemical suit, mask and gloves. Hmmmm, any questions about whether or not this stuff is Cherry flavored head right out the door.

This bag needs to flow slower so it takes about 2 1/2 hours to get this one done. Take your time with poisons, that's what Momma always told me.

Once all is done they drop another bag on Leslie to clear the lines and make sure she got every last drop of the poisony goodness. She did. By the end of the night she has gone through 3 of the anti-nausea pills because the nurses and doctors have instilled a fear in her of vomiting for hours. She doesn't vomit once but she doesn't sleep very well either. The fear of endless vomiting and the ever present knowledge that you just willingly accepted poisons into your body that will cause your mouth to develop sores, your hair to fall out and your fingernails to become paper thin doesn't bode well for a wonderful night of rest. With the aid of these suggestions Leslie tosses and turns the entire night, waking briefly to check her hair every 15 minutes or so. The drugs and suggestions (not sure which is more powerful here) have her scalp and head tingling enough to make Head and Shoulders proud. She doesn't lose any hair the first night because it's supposed to take about 2 weeks on average. The tingling she feels is the chemotherapy working and doing the thing it is supposed to do, kill. Guess we wouldn't want to go through all of that and not have it feel like something was happening.

We are doing this willingly because the thought of cancer is far worse than the cure. The cure, however, is pretty rough. The people that fight through this and survive are amazing. My wife is amazing. She is strong, brave and determined and will do whatever is needed to stay on this side of the daisies with Jared and I. She becomes my hero more and more each day that I watch her get up and push past the fear in order to have a normal life. Anyone wondering why you see so much pink for supporting breast cancer need only to live a day of this life to know that better cures, better prevention and better awareness are desperately needed. Supporting breast cancer research allows for improvement in all of those areas. The beautiful thing is that any type of cancer cure will eventually bring about the end of cancer and the end of such horrible cancer cures. One day at a time, one dollar at a time, one person at a time. I saw a great T-shirt that said " Now that we have made it acceptable to talk about breast cancer, let's make it unneccesary." That's brilliant. Do what you can, please. I will continue to work with Tough Enough To Wear Pink and Susan G. Komen For the Cure. That is something I would have done even before October 25th but now it's personal. Bob must die and you can help. You do not want to have someone that you love go through this. Be aggressive, be pro-active and give some cash to aid in the prevention of cancer. Thanks.

Ok, I'm off my soap box but I needed to throw that out there. Better now.

Stay tuned for the next installment of "Bob must die, save the boobies!"